


before you

by astrorarepairs



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, I am so sorry Minhyuk, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, side Myungbin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-13 23:38:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14123325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrorarepairs/pseuds/astrorarepairs
Summary: Myungjun and Bin were falling in love with each other since the moment they met, and the universe reserved Minhyuk the best seat to the show.(a companion piece to“I have nothing, I just have a heart that likes you”)





	before you

Of all the ways Myungjun and Bin had to officially meet, it just had to be through him.

Minhyuk thought the universe was too cruel to have done that. Surely the universe must have known how much he has liked Myungjun ever since they attended a summer workshop together years ago, when he helped him with dance and in return Myungjun helped him with singing. Surely the universe must have known how he planned to ask Myungjun out once he saved enough money for a date in a fancy restaurant. Surely the universe must have known.

And yet the universe decided that he should be the one to introduce Bin and Myungjun to each other. And yet the universe made him stand in the side and notice that they had feelings for each other before they even knew it themselves.

He knew from the moment Bin came back to their dorm with a big grin on his face, animatedly telling him about the movie he saw with Myungjun; Bin had mentioned when he moved in that he never really watched movies, that he found them too boring, so he knew that the movie was not what made him over the moon. It was Myungjun. (Underneath the bitterness, there was understanding. Minhyuk couldn’t blame Bin for falling for the same guy he liked. After all, he can’t have been the only one to be pulled in by Myungjun’s vibrance.)

He knew from the moment Myungjun called him to ask if Bin was currently with him, asking if he could steal his roommate away from him for a while because he wanted to show an artwork he made. Myungjun had never shown anyone his works before, always claiming that it was just a hobby and that he wasn’t good at it. But Bin was different. Within a month of them being friends, he was already someone special, breaking through Myungjun’s walls that Minhyuk had only chipped off from.

Myungjun and Bin were falling in love with each other since the moment they met, and the universe reserved Minhyuk the best seat to the show.

 

Even after Myungjun got together with Bin, he continued to be close with Minhyuk, still hanging out with him and still randomly calling to ask how his day was, or what dance he was working on at the moment. On one hand, Minhyuk was glad. He considered Myungjun a dear friend and his friendship with him was one of the best things to happen in his life. But sometimes, Minhyuk wanted Myungjun to just stop being his friend. To just completely prioritize his relationship with Bin and let their friendship fade away in the background, let it become collateral damage. It would have been easier that way.

But he knew Myungjun wouldn’t do that. Because he knew Myungjun loved him. Platonically, without a doubt, but it was love nonetheless, and Minhyuk took what he could get.

It didn’t surprise him when Myungjun went to his dance studio one Saturday afternoon to personally give him their wedding invitation. Hurt, maybe, because somehow after all those years of seeing Myungjun and Bin together, he still couldn’t become numb. But he did expect it.

He was wrapping up his last dance class of the day when he heard someone call out his name, sounding like familiarity and warmth and something unreachable.

“Minhyuk! Dance king swag king Park Minhyuk!” Myungjun enveloped him in a hug, not minding his sweaty clothes. Minhyuk patted his back before letting go and taking in the sight of his friend beaming at him. It had been a while since the last time they had met, and Minhyuk realized that he missed him more than what he lead himself to believe.

“Myungjun. How have you been?”

“Bit busy since I have a big design project right now and then there’s also the wedding planning, but I’m not too busy to come and see how Mr. Big Shot Choreographer is doing,” he answered with a teasing smile. He dug around his bag and retrieved an envelope, handing it to Minhyuk. “I also wanted to give you this.”

Minhyuk stared at the bright teal paper, tracing his fingers over the embossed initials on the front. It made him chuckle, how the wedding invitation didn’t look like those usual elegant ones and instead looked like an explosion of vivid colors. It was never like Bin and Myungjun to follow the conventional.

“It feels a bit unreal to me right now. I mean, I know you’re getting married, but it hasn’t really struck me as something that’s happening in a few months.”

Myungjun giggled. “I know, it feels like yesterday that we were just awkward teenagers trying to get through a summer workshop. I still remember how you clung to me and bribed me into befriending you with sushi. I really couldn’t resist the sushi.”

Minhyuk whined but didn’t deny it. Looking back on it, he thought that he was obvious about his feelings since the beginning. He had latched on to Myungjun ever since he saw him in the class, drawn to him the second he watched his eyes crinkle from smiling. Even when the summer was over, they always met up and maintained a close friendship. They’ve spent years hanging out together, but Minhyuk was clueless on how Myungjun didn’t notice how he looked at him as if he held the entire galaxy in his eyes. _But maybe he did notice, he just chose to ignore it_. For his own sake, Minhyuk chose to not go further with that train of thought.

“Do you want to have dinner with me and catch up? Do you have anything else to do today?” Myungjun asked, dragging him back from his brooding.

Minhyuk shook his head. “That was my last class. Let me just close the studio first.”

“Alright! Want me to help you?” Myungjun smiled at him, and Minhyuk had to clench his fists. His hands itched to hold Myungjun, the itch that never went away even though he had seen Bin’s arms wrapped around Myungjun more times than he could count.

“No, no, it’s fine.” Minhyuk said. “Go to the restaurant first, reserve us a table? I’ll follow after I make sure everything’s clean and in its proper place.”

He saw Myungjun frown for a second, probably wondering why he wanted him to go ahead when it wouldn’t take him long to close the studio. Honestly, Minhyuk just wanted to be alone for a little while. He thought he wasn’t affected by the wedding invitation, but the longer it was in his hands, the more he found it difficult to breathe.

“Okay, I’ll go first. You know our favorite restaurant, right?”

“Yeah. I won’t take too long.”

 

Once Myungjun was out of sight, Minhyuk closed the practice room door and slumped to the ground. He brushed his hair back, wiping the sweat from his forehead. He could still hear Myungjun’s fading voice outside, talking to Bin on the phone, telling him about his plans to eat dinner with Minhyuk. It made his head pound.

Minhyuk didn’t quite know what he was feeling. He didn’t know if he was bitter; he didn’t know if he was still capable of being bitter about the fact that the one he has been in love with for 8 years was getting married to his friend. It did still hurt, but he somehow learned to convince himself that it didn’t.

Maybe it was regret instead that was eating at him. He regretted not trying harder to be with Myungjun. He regretted not confessing during that summer when they first met, due to the fear of being rejected. Now he realized that he could take rejection, but not the what-ifs tormenting his consciousness. He wanted some sort of closure to pull him out of the water. He wanted to be told that Myungjun wouldn’t have returned his feelings. That even if Myungjun felt the same way, they wouldn’t have worked out. That things would have lead to the same ending no matter what happened in the middle.

A memory flashed in his mind, an unwelcome recollection reminding him of his place. He remembered staying in the dance hall, unable to sleep, plagued by the thoughts of Myungjun and Bin all alone in their dorm room. He should have stayed, but he couldn’t stand seeing them looking at each other with wide eyes and blushed cheeks. The next morning, when he went back to get the wallet he forgot, he pretended not to notice that no one was sleeping on his bed nor on the floor. He pretended not to notice the two lumped forms on Bin’s bed, clutching each other so tightly that he didn’t know where one began and the other ended.

Minhyuk cursed his traitorous thoughts cruelly reminding him of his place. Reminding him of how he was only meant to watch Myungjun find the love of his life.

He knew that there wasn’t a chance for him anymore. He had witnessed how Myungjun and Bin fell in love, how their hearts became inseparable, how they planned to spend their futures with each other. Minhyuk wasn’t delusional, he knew that the road he was standing on had a dead end. Surely the universe must have something else planned for him. Surely the universe won’t let him keep on drowning.

He knew all of these things, and yet.

And yet, why can’t he bring himself to stop loving Myungjun?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I don't think I can write angst well (and writing a hurting Minhyuk is like stabbing myself in the foot repeatedly), but thank you for reading this anyway! I am off to write happier things.
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated, and you know where to find me if you want to tell me something!


End file.
